hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize