You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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