and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
