Your tits are I can't wait for
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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