I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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