u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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