so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
