I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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