We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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