At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
