I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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