He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
