He asked to "fluff my boner.."
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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