too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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