So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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