In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You're like the curious george of whores
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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