Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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