Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
