dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
