I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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