Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This baby is an asshole
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
