I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
