I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
