the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
