This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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