We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
