Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
