Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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