Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
