i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
