I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
