I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They took my balls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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