i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize