i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
my poor anus
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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