Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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