I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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