I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
