I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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