Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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