Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
