I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
