So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
