Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
