so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
