Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
