he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize