Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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