I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
