The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER