Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
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she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?