Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
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Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday