Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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