Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
