apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize