Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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