Small penises have feelings too.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
