am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
