shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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