But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
