Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
