i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
porn star boner night. come get it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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